A Witness to the Dell Disaster...

As a professional computer scientist, I am always looking for good stories to pass along to colleagues about users who just don't understand the technology surrounding them. I realize this process is cruel and mean and all those other detrimental terms you as a reader are thinking, but geeks will be geeks. I am even known to embellish the language of the user a bit to massage a better punchline out of the story. In light of today's announcement by Dell to recall 4.2 million laptop batteries, I thought I might share one such recent story:

A female cousin-in-law, who will remain nameless, called me at work one afternoon, just a few weeks ago. After polite hello's and how are you's, she quickly came to the computer question to which I have grown all too accustomed from family members when they call unexpectedly in the middle of the day. She quietly asked, "Benjamin (she calls me Benjamin for some unknown reason) I plugged up my laptop just a second ago and smoke started pouring out of it - is that bad?" This is where my fellow geeks start laughing and cussing and begin to tell similar stories about unsuspecting users and their problems - yes, evil I know, but great fun for us in the otherwise mundane and tedious world of cables and servers. However, in light of Dell's painful disclosure today, I thought this story a bit more appropriate and interesting.

After talking to her husband, my cousin, I realized that she was standing up as she plugged in the cable to begin recharging her Dell Inspiron Laptop. He was present and actually saw the sparks flying from the charging port and the battery, and he saw the smoke begin to billow from the vents. If she had still been seated with the laptop resting on her legs, a fire easily could have occurred and this story would have resulted in a much less humorous conclusion. Needless to say, I am grateful that everyone is safe and no property has been destroyed. Dell quickly replaced her entire laptop free of charge and everyone went about their business as normal. Yet, today's announcement is anything but normal.

Dell is the leading manufacturer of corporately assigned laptops in the world. Easily, two of three vendors who enter my office are carrying a Dell laptop. And every one of those vendors has sat next to someone on a plane and typed away for hours on a report or some emails or an innocuous spreadsheet, all the while without fear of bursting into flames. Yet, today's announcement that these batteries, manufactured by Sony, can do just that - burst into flames - is a sobering reminder of the technological unknowns that surround us.

Now, I am not trying to preach some type of apocalyptic doom and gloom about the evils of technology in the world - far from it. Technology pays for my house and car. I don't leave home without a backpack full of gadgets and batteries and cables. What I am preaching is common sense. Batteries are volatile. They get hot and they become unstable. Pay attention. If you have a Dell laptop, check your serial number and have the battery replaced. If you don't have a Dell, still pay attention to your battery and use common sense. Don't leave a laptop running for long periods of time around flammable materials. If your laptop gets too hot to rest on your lap, chances are it will not react well to sitting on the pillow next to you. I want everyone to come away from using their computers and smartphones and PDA's without any bodily harm. Otherwise, how are you going to pay me to answer your questions.

Oh yeah, if you do do something stupid and even mildly funny with your gadgets, make sure to let me know. I always need some new ammo for those talks around the water cooler.